The Do's and Don'ts of Speed Dating
by AnimeyaoiFangirl2121
Summary: Megurine Luka, for the most part, had a very simple life. Simple friends. Simple job. Simple everything. That is until her friends come up with the brilliant idea of attending a speed dating event at their local pub. Bribed with tuna, Luka couldn't say no, but little did she know she would not only get tuna out of it but also a purple haired weirdo who was obsessed with eggplants
1. Chapter 1

The Do's and Don'ts of Speed Dating-

Megurine Luka sat at the small table with a buzzer in the center, wondering how the living hell she ended up in such a place and why the hell she hadn't gotten up and left already. It was speed date night at the local pub and somewhere in there her friend's _**insisted**_ on her attending the event with them.

"Speed dating?" Luka asked, squinting over the table at her fellow girlfriends as they enjoyed their lunch break at their regular diner.

"Yeah," Meiko grinned. "You've been locked up in your apartment ever since Miku and Kaito announced their engagement. And we're not getting any younger, who knows? It may be fun." The brunette said as she took faithful sips of her Long Island Ice Tea. According to that particular friend, it was _**never**_ too early or too late to have a drink.

"Not getting any younger? You buttwipe we're only twenty, we've got a good ten years before being single becomes a problem." Luka dryly protested.

"I'll be there so it's not like you'll be alone," Gumi offered, hoping her input would help ease the sour expression the pinkette had on her face. It didn't of course.

"And that helps me _**how**_?" Luka asked, folding her arms. No one knew what had suddenly brought on the sudden mood change she was now going through, normally Luka was a laid back, opinionated female. Now she was laid back, opinionated, _**and**_ if you crossed her wrong you were most likely going to get a boot to the face.

The other girls sighed, at the rate this was going Luka was going to die old and alone in her apartment watching reruns of yaoi anime. Needless to say Luka wasn't given much choice but to attend the dreaded event happening later that night, especially when Lilly said she knew a chick that sold amazing tuna by the pound. If she went, participated, and didn't get arrested for round housing someone in the face they would buy her ten pounds of tuna.

So as the first round of speed dating began, Luka had to keep reminding herself that she was doing this for the tuna. With all her hair pulled back into a tight braid, her combat boots, and scowl it was safe to say the woman came off as a bit intimidating, despite how beautiful she actually was. Luka had to be the tallest female there, except for Lilly, and had looks to kill for.

"Hey," A man who had to be at least ten years her senior, smiled as he sat down before her.

"Hello," Was her nonchalant reply.

"So what's your name?" The man asked.

"Does it matter?" Asked Luka. "It's not like I'm ever going to see you again."

The man was slightly taken back by her reply but continued smiling nonetheless.

"Well, I'm Soto." He offered his hand for her to shake it.

"I'm not going to _**sniff**_ it if that's what you're inquiring," She snapped.

"Um no, I wanted to _**shake**_ hands."

"Why?"

"Well… to be polite I guess."

"I don't shake hands with people I don't know."

Soto was getting nowhere and their time was almost up.

"You're really beautiful," He complimented with a smile.

"Thanks, I'll be sure to let my mother know you think so."

The timer went off, Soto sighed in defeat, bided the feisty woman a farewell, and moved on to the next table. The next person who sat down before her left her scowling even more.

"Kaito, what the hell are you doing here?" Luka asked, her salmon pink eyebrow twitching. Her nerves and patience was growing thinner by the moment. "Yowane said if I came to support you I'd get some ice cream." He replied honestly, blue hair shifting as he settled comfortably in his seat.

Luka wanted to smack her head against the table. "Where's Miku?" She asked.

"Well funny you should ask," He chuckled nervously. "She's _**locked **_inside a closet… I was wondering when you're done here if you could come help me get her out."

At the rate Luka was going, she was going to die old and alone in her apartment watching reruns of yaoi anime _**without**_ any children (she dealt with more than enough daily with these retards). The buzzer went off and Kaito beamed at her from across the small table.

"Luka, I must say, you are looking just _**faaaaaabuuuuuulousssssssss**_!" He said, flamboyantly. Luka wanted to choke him.

"Anyways," She said. "I'll be over as soon as I'm done here."

"Great!" Kaito exclaimed in relief, apparently Miku had been trapped in there for a few hours already. "Oh, my friend is here so can you try to not be _**yourself**_?"

Luka arched a brow, "What ever do you mean? Be amazingly awesome? Cunning?"

"No, I meant rude as hell and sarcastic." Corrected Kaito.

"No promises," The pinkette grinned playfully.

"Please, Lulu-kun? He's sensitive."

"Fine, fine." Luka rolled her eyes, and just in time for their time to be up. Kaito gave her a wide grin, two thumbs up, and trotted over to the table where Gumi was sitting.

Luka sighed as she awaited the next person, a list of things she'd rather be doing at that particular moment in time running through her overly stressed mind. She found herself totally engrossed in her hot pink nails, so out of it that she didn't even realize that someone had took the empty seat in front of her. But when she did look up, the first thing she saw was a mass of lavender hair, _**twice**_ as long as her own and the beholder of that hair wearing the widest (and weirdest) goofy grin.

"Hi," He said. "My name is Kamui Gakupo and I like eggplants."


	2. Chapter 2

The Do's and Don'ts of Speed Dating-

Chapter 2

Luka blinked, his smile blinding. _**"Eggplants?"**_ She asked.

The man nodded, "Oh they're wonderful!" He gushed. "Best thing god put on this earth!"

Luka, in that specific moment in time, wanted to die. Just crawl under the table… and just die. Out of all the guys in the building, she got stuck with a grody old man, one of her friends, and now this eggplant hugging weirdo.

_**'This is the universe telling me I'm going to be forever alone!' **_She concluded to herself. Luka tuned him out as he rambled on about the history of eggplants (where they came from, why they were purple, all that jazz) and why he loved them so much. _**'I guess he'd be gorgeous… if I was into little kids.' **_She snickered at the thought.

"Is something funny?" He asked, his head tilting to the side. His eyes were a brilliant shade of blue, almost as blue as her own.

"Oh nothing," Luka said with a wave of the hand, dismissing the question.

"You're really pretty," He genuinely smiled. Luka felt a tiny blush creep into her cheeks as she stared back at all thirty two of his pearly white teeth.

"Gee thanks," She said. That line never got old. He was no different than a stranger on the street, stopping her to say the same thing.

"So you _**agree**_? You're really pretty?" His smile didn't falter but the tone of his voice sure did.

Luka cocked a brow, her arms folded at her chest as she looked back at him. "Touché."

Gakupo chuckled once again before asking what her name was.

"I don't give out my name to strangers." Was her obvious reply once again.

Purple brows furrowed together as his mind went blank for a comeback. The buzzer went off and for a moment he looked up to meet her glare before standing.

_**'Such a pity… he's obviously dumb as fuck but at least he was cute to look at.'**_

__As promised, Luka made her way back to the condo building her and nearly all of her friends lived in. Instead of heading to the fifth floor (where her condo was located and like she was very tempted to do), she stopped at the third to help out her not so bright friend and his even dumber fiancé.

"Out of all the people here, you mean to tell me _**no**_ _**one**_ can get her out of the closet but me?" Luka asked as she approached the door. Rin and Len were there and they had Yowane in tow.

"We tried and failed," Said Len.

"And so we went to get Yowane," Said Rin.

"But now we're all locked out…" The twins sulked together.

Luka sighed, if she wasn't the surrogate mother for these fools she didn't know who was. She unlocked the door with the key Miku had given her in case of emergencies (like when she got locked somewhere or her hair got tangled on something or when she couldn't find the match to her favorite pair of shoes), and pushed the door open.

"Did you not hear these guys banging on the door?" She grumbled as Kaito gave her a relieved look.

"No, but thank god you're here!" He said.

"Hold on Miku! Stay calm!" A voice shouted.

"Jesus, who else is here?" Luka asked as she followed behind Kaito. He had replaced his normal clothes for the pair of flannel footies Miku had gotten him last Christmas.

"What did she say?" Kaito completely ignored Luka's question.

"She said it's dark in there!"

"Oh nooooooooo!" Wailed Kaito dramatically.

"Dear god, would you just shut up!" Luka snapped. She stomped her way over to the supposed closet, yelling obscenities, as she hit the door once. One good hit at the edge of the door frame and the door popped right open. Miku fell out, shielding her eyes from the bright room light.

"What year is it?" She asked, coughing.

"2013!" Kaito said as he helped her to her feet.

"Whoa…"

_**'They're kidding…' **_

"I'm going home! Miku, stay the hell out of closets. Kaito, don't call me if anymore shit happens." Luka said.

"Hey! I know you!" Standing just as tall as she was and then some (and Luka wasn't a short female) was Gakupo, although she of course didn't remember his name.

"Yeah? Well I _**don't **_know you." Luka retorted.

He pouted, which had to be the most adorable pout in the world, and Gumi practically threw herself into his arms. "It's ok! Don't pout!" The little green head wailed, stretching her arms up to pet his head.

"You guys give a whole new meaning to crazy." Luka sighed as she turned to leave.

"Will you be at work tomorrow (and school)?" Miku asked, once she had composed herself and was back in reality.

"I guess, although I'm _**very**_ tempted to jump out the window when I get home." She murmured.

"Well don't do that!" Gakupo said, overdramatically reaching out for her.

"It's _**because**_ of you that I'm jumping!" Luka snapped. "I'm going home!" She pivoted on her heels, never mind the scuff marks she'd left behind on their hardwood floor, and stormed off. She had to find new friends because her current ones were driving her into an early grave.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Vocaloids!

The Do's and Don'ts of Speed Dating-

Chapter 3

Luka had to drag herself out of bed to be able to get to work /school the next day. Her and her friends attended the town's local college, and as a bonus to said school, worked in the library. She had no desire to be there, which was more than obvious, as Gumi and Yowane found her with her head under a stack of papers. When they tried talking to her, all they got in return were groans and insults.

"So," Gumi tried a different approach. "What do you think about Gakupo?"

"He's _**annoying**_," Said Luka. "I didn't know you guys knew him."

"Well," Gumi blushed bashfully. "I met him a couple of months ago when he moved into our building."

Luka's head shot up, sending stray papers flying in every direction. "He lives in the _**same**_ building as us?" She asked.

"Yeah, lives on the same floor as _**you**_ actually."

Well it was time for Luka to move. She knew of a lovely place on the _**other**_ side of the globe.

"Kaito has known him way longer though. Way… way… _**way**_ longer." Added Yowane, joining the conversation.

"So all together Gakupo is annoying as all hell, lives in our building, and _**gay**_… he seems fucking _**terrific**_!" Luka earned confused looks from her friends after her more than sarcastic statement. "… Have you guys not seen that man's _**hair**_? He's got more products in his hair than Wiz Khalifa has weed. He's obviously screaming 'take me up the butt'."

Gumi sighed, "Luka, you need some serious help."

No, help was far from what Luka needed. What the pinkette needed was a good bottle of alcohol and a decent lay. Luka rolled her sapphire eyes in her defense and laid her head back down. The day trotted on like any other Monday school day would- Luka and her friends going to class (when in reality it was more like Luka trying to skip class and her friends forcing her to go), lunch at their diner, back to work for a few hours (where _**normal**_ college students did their homework, that didn't include Luka), and then the train ride home. The pink haired woman wanted to fling herself into oncoming traffic as her girlfriends could talk about nothing but Gakupo and how awesomely awesome his hair and outfit was that day. Apparently he attended the same college as them and had quite a few classes with the girls. That, of course, eluded Luka because she was doing far more important things in her classes (like eating or sleeping).

"He seems to be _**everywhere **_now," Complained Luka as she stuffed her mouth full of smoked tuna.

"And that's a _**bad **_thing? He's dreamy!" Gumi gushed.

"And _**gay**_," Said Luka.

"Well… any way! On a different note, we have a break coming up and I was thinking we took a trip to the beach. We haven't been since we buried Miku and forgot her there (by accident of course)." Lilly said.

Rin and Len squealed at the thought of cute swimsuits and floaters.

"I'm totally in," Meiko chirped, eager to supply the group with as much alcohol as she could buy (I think it's safe to say someone has a _**problem**_).

"I'll pass…" Luka grumbled.

"Why? It feels like you never want to hang out with us anymore unless you have to." Grunted Lilly.

Luka shrugged, she honestly didn't know. Maybe she was finally coming to terms with the fact that she wasn't getting any younger and a majority of her friends already had significant others, while she just had an endless supply of tuna. It was too depressing to even think about. Once the day was officially over, Luka wanted nothing more but to retire to her condo where she would eat tuna to her heart's content until she fell clean the hell out. But, seeing as though fate and the universe always had to put its two cents in, things didn't go exactly according to plan. Sitting outside of his door, just a few feet from her own, was Gakupo. Maybe… just maybe if she moved quietly and quickly he wouldn't notice her.

"Luka?" Gakupo lifted his head, his face solemn as he wore his goofy grin.

"How the hell do you know my name?" The pinkette snapped.

"Kaito told me," He replied. "Can you help me?"

Now this peaked her curiosity. "With?" She asked.

"I'm locked out."

"Are you serious?"

"Does it look like I'm joking?" The purple haired man sulked.

"I guess not… well _**that**_ sucks." Could she be anymore heartless? Well it was Luka after all so she knew no bounds.

Gakupo watched with wide, sad eyes as she pulled a ring of keys out of her bag (oddly shaped like a chibi tuna)and unlocked her door. "Are you just going to leave me out here?" he asked, his face molding into his signature pout. Too bad it didn't work on her.

"Um _**yeah**_, that was the plan." Luka nodded coolly.

Gakupo gaped at her in shock. Feeling blue eyes burning holes into the back of her skull, Luka sighed.

"I _**guess**_ you can come inside, but if you so much a _**breath**_ on anything and you'll be right back out here." She said. Well, maybe his pout worked just _**a little**_.

Gakupo smiled brightly as he hopped to his feet. "Yes ma'ma!"


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Vocaloids!

The Do's and Don'ts of Speed Dating-

Chapter 4

"You're joking."

Two and a half hours later and Gakupo was _**still**_ in Luka's condo, sitting Indian style on the couch, which looked extremely small under his great body. The man shook his head.

"I'm not," Gakupo said. "She said she won't be back to the building until tomorrow morning."

Every resident in the building had the land lord's number in case stuff like this happened, but everyone knew that the woman was a drunk and barely got anywhere on time or returned people's phone calls. It's a miracle she even picked up the phone when Gakupo called.

"So where the heck are you going to stay?" Luka asked, it would be a cold day in hell before she let that weirdo stay at her place over night.

"Well… I was hoping I could stay here." He said, fiddling with his hoodie sleeves.

"Hell no."

"But I have nowhere else to go!"

"That's not my problem! What kind of jackass locks himself out of his _**own**_ condo when you live alone?" Gakupo fiddled with his sleeves even more. "Oh? So you _**share**_ that condo? Doesn't your _**roommate**_ have a key?"

"She does but she's not coming home tonight." Her stomach somewhat sank at the mention of a female staying in the same living arrangements as him and that alone scared her. She had no idea why she cared for even a fragment of her sanity, or what was left of it.

In Gakupo's mind he was too pretty to sleep out in the cold hallway alone. What if someone tried to attack him? Or worse, pick his brain for his most delicious eggplant recipes? The mere thought of all the things that could happen left him shrieking in horror and fleeing for his life into Luka's bathroom.

"Please! Please! Please let me stay!" Gakupo wailed from behind the locked door.

"If you don't come out of there I'm going to rip out your urethra and choke you with it!" Luka yelled, banging on the door.

"Please Luka! I'm too pretty to be robbed of my innocence!"

_**This couldn't be happening… **_

"What innocence?!"

"My eggplants!"

"No one likes that crap but you!"

Gakupo gasped, growing so quiet that Luka thought he died of a heart attack right there on her bathroom floor. "Take it back," He said eventually.

"Take what back?" Luka rested her head against the cool wooden door, this was giving her a major headache. No wonder Meiko drank, at the rate she was going she was going to be an alcoholic by the time she was done with college.

"What you said about eggplants…"

"No! Now get out of my house!" This wasn't even close to the evening she had so pleasantly daydreamed about all day. "Ugh," This was going nowhere. "If I let you stay will you shut up?"

His dramatic sobs stopped and he opened the door. "Yes," Gakupo beamed.

Luka sighed, of all the people. "Fine," She groaned. "If you so much as piss me off, even a little, you're back in the hallway!"

The large man picked her up as he giggled with delight, spinning her around in a circle or two. Even his skin smelt like the fruit he worshiped so faithfully. "Drop me or get out." Luka hissed.

Gakupo gladly, but gently, sat her down. What in the world was she going with this idiot?

"Well sit down and don't move, I'll order us some dinner." Luka grumbled heading to her small kitchen. She had to admit, for someone as lazy as her, she kept a pretty damn clean house.

"Nonsense! I'll cook for us!" The man offered as he trotted behind her. He was so close she could feel heat radiating off of his body.

"Not in my kitchen you're not," She retorted.

"But I know this really good eggplant dish and-"

"I don't eat eggplants."

Gakupo gasped, he couldn't believe what he was hearing! What was wrong with her? Luka, after the somewhat heated debate on ordering take out and her distaste for the purple fruit was in fact normal because she was allergic to it, she directed him to the bathroom with a list of do's and don'ts. The only thing he was allowed to do was use the shower, the toilet, and the sink. He couldn't even look in the mirror, and if so much as touched her hair products (which we all know he would seeing as though he didn't care if they were female hair products or not) she was going to shave his head, gag him, and hog tie him out in the hall. Needless to say Gakupo followed her demands, and that left her pleased he could at least follow simple directions. But knowing things were too good to be true, Luka found herself yelling all over again once he stepped out wearing a pair of her pajamas he all but helped himself to.

"What in all hell are you doing?" Luka screeched. Not because of him wearing her pajamas, she could always burn them later, but because of all the skin he was revealing. Her tiny pajama top hugged his torso, clinging to his abs and biceps like saran wrap. His whole mid-section was exposed, leaving the flooding pink pants to rest perfectly at his trimmed waist. He honestly had no shame whatsoever. The man was simply to die for, the most handsome man she had seen easy. Luka hated herself for even thinking such a thing.

'_**Now would be a good time to jump out that window,'**_ She noted averting her eyes. Gakupo was either too gay for his own good or just a feminine… handsome man…woman.

Their take out arrived shortly after the escapade with her pajamas, and for the most part the two ate in silence. For all Luka was concerned she had a stranger in her condo who was clad in her pajamas, scaring food down across from her. What was there to talk about? The weather? She knew nothing about him, and quite frankly she wasn't interested in knowing anything about him. Gakupo stole glances at the pinkette as she stuffed her cheeks like a hamster storing food, and found her quite attractive. Her long pink hair hung lazily over her shoulders, her camisole straps barely clung to her shoulders making the small piece of clothing dip perfectly around complimenting breasts. Gakupo swallowed thickly as he found himself unable to look away. Luka, once she finally caught onto his staring blushed for a second before scowling.

"Can I help you with something?" She asked.

Little did she know she was unable to hide what she was feeling from him. Gakupo could see the loneliness building up behind her big blue orbs, the longing to be wanted by someone just as much as she wanted them. The urge to want to love freely as the birds fly. For a moment he just wanted to hold her, to let her know that she wasn't alone and that she struck a fire burning so intensely in him it hurt. But instead he just grinned, shaking his head.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the vocaloids! *sad face*

The Do's and Don'ts of Speed Dating

Chapter 5

Luka sulked under an umbrella, her feet buried in the sand, as she listened to her friends running and playing around her. She sighed, it was far too hot to be outside. She didn't even know why the hell she had even agreed to tag along.

_**'Oh yeah… that's right… if I didn't I'd never hear the end of it.'**_ She thought to herself.

Yowane and Meiko had taken her swimsuit shopping, all in vain since she settled on the chocolate bikini she had at home (and we all know she was nowhere near eager to show it off like the others). Kaito rested beside her tanning, his goal was to be the same shade of the finest coffee ice cream (a very _**unrealistic**_ goal that sadly all the sun in the world wouldn't help him achieve). She sighed again, her head rested on her hands as she watched waves carrying the giggling twins further out to sea… that would eventually become an issue.

"Oh! Hey! What happened to the sun?" Kaito sat up, looking around.

Wearing swim trunks the same shade as his hair, accompanying that wide goofy grin of his was Gakupo.

"Why aren't you enjoying yourself like the others?" He asked, stealing the empty space opposite of Kaito. Of course it wouldn't be a trip to the beach if this guy wasn't there with them.

"I am enjoying myself… _**alone**_." Luka said, hoping he'd catch on to the idea and get lost. Or possibly carried away by a wave… she wasn't picky.

"But you're _**not**_ alone," Gakupo pointed out. She glanced over to see him smiling widely at her, and she just couldn't shake the feeling that his words had a double meaning to them.

"Was there _**something**_ you wanted?" Luka asked.

"Well, as a thank you for letting me stay at your place (it wasn't like he gave her much choice in the matter anyway) and take you to Tuna-Pa-Looza."

Luka's eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets as he held up the exclusive coupon to the place's grand opening. She had tried for _**months**_ to get one and never got even a thanks for applying email in return, so how the hell _**that**_ loon got one and she didn't was far beyond her comprehension.

"I know how much you love tuna," He added in a sing song voice, giving the coupon a little wave in front of her face.

"Alright, fine." Luka said, hardly able to contain her excitement.

She had heard many good reviews about the Tuna-Pa-Looza that opened up in Tokyo about a month ago so it was safe to say that now that her small town of Yokahama had one, she was dying for mouth full of tuna (cooked in _**thirty**_ different ways)… even if he was the one taking her.

So, a recap of their day at the beach? Kaito fell asleep tanning and was now sunburned the shade of a lobster (nowhere near the shade he was aiming for), Len buried Rin so deep into the sand the poor child got stuck and it took them all about an hour to dig her out (not to mention she had to pee), Meiko got drunk and started singing 'Wannabe' by the Spice Girls over and over… _**and over**_ again until she finally passed out, Lilly got hit on by a guy no taller than her shoulders, and Luka now had a date with the person who annoyed her to no end the most… sounds like a pretty productive day.

Once they returned to their building, after going their separate ways, Luka actually sat down at her dining room table to do some homework. Anything was better than sitting there letting her mind roam to all the possible things Gakupo was doing and thinking about. So there she sat, glaring down at the math problems while they stared back at her. She scratched her head, tapped her pen, and glared at the problems.

"Forty six X, times eighty seven Y, over the square toot of ninety…" She mumbled aloud. "Forty six X, times eighty seven Y, over the square.. root… of ninety… _**THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT**_?!"

_**'I wonder what Gakupo is doing.'**_

Luka jumped up from the table, knocking the chair back, as she stomped over to the living room. "Screw homework," She said to on one in particular. She dropped down onto her couch and snatched the remote up off the coffee table. Maybe some TV would help.

_**'And now we add in some diced eggplants for some extra flavor.'**_ Why the hell a cooking show was on her TV of all things she didn't know, but that too left her wanting to rip all the hair from her scalp. In the midst of her self ranting (and trust me, there was a _**ton**_ of self-ranting) the phone rang.

"Hello?" She all but yelled into the receiver. It was a number she didn't recognize.

"Um… Luka?" Gakupo. Would he get mad if she just hung up the phone right then and there?

"What?" Asked Luka.

"I'm doing some homework… and since we have the same classes and all I was wondering if you could help me." He said.

"Fine… I'll be over in a little." There was no way she was letting him back into her condo, not while she was alive and he was still… _**himself**_. She hung up the phone and sighed. Well, being at his place was _**way**_ better than being at her place alone thinking about him; it could always be worse.

Luka slipped into a pair of slippers, grabbed her notes off the nearby table, and walked out the door. She knocked (which was more like a kick) on the door, blowing a stray piece of her hair face. She heard a whole bunch of shuffling, and what sounded like Gakupo tripping over lord knows what, before he was finally able to open the door.

"Sorry," He breathed, stepping aside so she could enter. All his hair hung loosely down his back and over his shoulders. It was like a purple curtain, lacing around his limbs like a halo.

Luka, stifling a butt load of comments about him looking extremely like a girl (and a blush) walked in with a simple roll of her eyes.

"Let's just get this over with," She sighed.

His condo was cluttered with school books and papers, and other things from the various clubs he had joined. A pile of shoes, a combination of male and female, lay huddled in the nearby corner. His place was the typical junkyard of a college student. Luka dusted off the couch (more like dumped) all of his things to the floor as she made herself a seat.

"Can I offer you something to drink?" Gakupo asked shifting around, trying to make things at least somewhat decent.

"No thanks, let's go ahead and get started." The pinkette said as she pulled out a stack of notes the same shade as her hair.

Gakupo sulked over to the couch across from her, sitting down before pulling an open notebook into his lap. "I'm stuck on DNA and chromosomes." He sighed. Well at least science was _**hella **_better than math, and one of her strongest subjects.

"You're kidding right?"

Gakupo shook his head. "That's… uh… well…" Now she wasn't expecting to have to talk about _**sex and stuff**_ when she entered through his front door… especially with _**him**_. "What don't you get?"

"All of it!" Gakupo wailed.

"A chromosome is an organized structure of DNA and protein found in cells. It is a single piece of coiled DNA containing many genes, regulatory elements and other nucleotide sequences. Chromosomes also contain DNA-bound proteins, which serve to package the DNA and control its functions. Chromosomal DNA encodes most or all of an organism's genetic information; some species also contain plasmids or other extrachromosomal genetic elements…. Chromosomes in humans can be divided into two types: autosomes and sex chromosomes. Certain genetic traits are linked to a person's sex and are passed on through the sex chromosomes. The autosomes contain the rest of the genetic hereditary information. All act in the same way during cell division. Human cells have 23 pairs of chromosomes (22 pairs of autosomes and one pair of sex chromosomes), giving a total of 46 per cell…" Luka explained to the best of her ability, leaving out as much sex talk as she could. Hs sighed, she wasn't cut out for this.

"I don't… um… well…" Gakupo scratched his head nervously.

"You don't _**what**_?" She dared to ask.

"I don't know much about sex but…" In one quick motion (she didn't even think he could even move that fast) Gakupo had Luka pinned beneath him. His palms rested on either side of her head, his legs at her waist. Luka completely stopped breathing all together as she looked up into the handsome man's face. "I know it starts like this."

Bam. Lips, just as soft as they looked and then some, gently touched hers. They were warm, shy and gentle, overflowing with innocence. Luka's head was spinning, he had obviously lost his mind a long time ago but she had no idea she had apparently lost hers too. Clearly she wasn't thinking straight as she kissed him back, lithe arms wrapping around strong shoulders. This couldn't be real; she had to be dreaming because that moment was just too perfect to be her reality.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I… sadly own nothing. If I owned any of the vocaloids I wouldn't still be in college. XD

The Do's and Don'ts of Speed Dating

Chapter 6

Luka Locked herself away in her condo for the next couple of days, only opening her door for Rin and Len to bring her her homework and notes. If it wasn't her girlfriends trying to make sure she was still alive, it was Gakupo trying to see if she was still alive and mad because he kissed her. She had become a hermit in such a short amount of time it left her head spinning. And the one day she did decided to embrace the outside the outside world once again, she avoided them all. Clad in nothing but sweat pants and an overly large hoodie, she managed to successfully duck in and out of all of her classes without being noticed.

"I wonder where Luka-chan is," She heard a group of guys say while she was sitting in her math class. Normally her obnoxiously pink hair made her stick out like a straight person at a Gay Pride Festival, but since she had it all secured under her hood, no one knew who the hell the person was wearing s giant panda hoodie with ears.

"I don't know, maybe she's sick." Said another.

"Well, whenever she gets back I'm thinking about asking her out."

"No way dude, seriously?"

"Hell yeah, she's to die for."

"Yeah, but is asking her out worth a trip to the _**hospital**_? Didn't you hear about the last guy who got the courage to ask her out? He got his arm _**broken**_ and she kicked him so hard in the face her boot _**dislocated**_ his nose."

"She is really beautiful, isn't she?" A voice that had to belong to none other than Gakupo, suddenly chimed in. "And she's spoken for."

Luka wanted to just get up and run after he said that, just run until she hopefully found the edge of the world so she could fling herself off the edge of it. But instead she took the _**logical**_ route and just sat there, deep into her seat. After her last class ended, Luka high tailed it the fuck out of there to the train station where it was like waiting on pens and needles for said train to show up. Oh, and to make matters worse? Gakupo was waiting for the same train. He was now officially she looked and went and that made her all the more upset with the world. So she stood there quietly, hoping no one would notice her, and when no one in fact did she sighed and did a little victory dance in relief. Not even Gakupo recognized her, and as she marveled in her glory she couldn't help but notice that the normally goofy, cheerful face was anything but. He sat with his headphones in, staring off into the distance as he looked down at his hands. He blinked every now and then but he looked extremely deep in thought. If she didn't know him, she wouldn't have thought nothing was wrong, but since she did she knew something had to be troubling him and it was most likely her. How after they kissed she had all but pushed him off, screaming what the fuck was wrong with him before storming out of his condo. Not to mention she was ignoring him. Suddenly he slightly jumped, taken back by the fact that a pen had smacked him in the face and now rested in his lap. He looked around then smiled, that annoyingly adorable smile of his, once his eyes landed on her. Luka, betrayed by her own body, had took the pen she had been mindlessly tapping on her shoe and flung it clean across the subway to Gakupo, catching him right in the face.

"Can I have my pen back?" Luka asked, holding out her hand.

"I hardly recognized you," Gakupo said, handing the weapon over.

"Well that was the whole idea," She grumbled settling back into her seat. Now that she had his attention, what now? "So… we still on for Tuna-Pa-Looza?"

That had to have been the vest thing Gakupo heard all day. "Of course… I didn't think you'd want to go after.." His words trailed off. Little did he know Hitler himself couldn't keep her from tuna, so there was no way in hell she was going to let a messily little kiss scare her off.

When that evening did finally roll around, Luka settling on a nice blouse and slacks. Her five inch heels put her at his height **perfectly.** Gakupo, no matter what he wore, looked utterly amazing himself with his black button down top and dress pants. He was all too eager to show the pinkette the best night of her life while Luka just tried not to fall on her face each time he reached for her hand. The restaurant wasn't as upscale as the ads made it seem so the duo was dressed completely fine for the evening. They sat at one of the few very booths available that evening, drowning in an awkward silence. Gakupo had been nothing but polite, and so far all Luka did was either ignore him or snap at him for touching her (he kept making advances to hold her hand). Just being across the table from him left her lips tingling for some unknown reason. The evening had actually started out pretty well, but the good times didn't last. In fact they turned really crappy, really quickly.

"Luka," Gakupo had said. "I um… I really like you and…" He struggled to find the right words to portray how he truly felt.

"Excuse me, I have to run to the bathroom." Luka abruptly blurted, jumping out of the booth. Her back bumped the waiter carrying another table's food and the next thing anyone knew, hot soup was everywhere and Gakupo was wincing and holding his hand. Her clumsy and thick headedness had caused an innocent table their Thai tuna soup and Gakupo a few second degree burns.

"I… I'm so sorry," Luka whispered, just wanting to sit in a corner and cry. Her eyes pooled with tears as she turned quickly and ran. She had to get out of there before something else could happen, so much for their first date. She felt horrible, as if someone had just punched her in the chest, like she could barely breathe, as she hauled a cab. She all but cried on the way back to her condo and the cab driver, an older man who had never actually had a dramatically crying female in the back of his cab, watched and listened quietly as she went on to tell him what had happened like he really gave a damn.

"I tried so hard," Luka sobbed. "But then the soup went everywhere and…" Another fit of broken sobs. "He'll never want to see me again.. And the thing is, I don't even know why I even care so much! He's annoying and goofy and stupid… but he's also very kind and loving and funny…I think I may even like him too." Luka slumped down into the chipped leather seat, her head in her hands, as she gave a deep sigh. Reality had hit her like a speeding train and it left her head spinning, and her heart racing. No wonder she couldn't stand him, why that grin of his (as well as the rest of him) irked her so much, why she hadn't punched him in the face a long time ago… it was because she adored that giant, eggplant eating weirdo.

Luka paid the driver, thanked him for listening (which she didn't give him a say in the matter), and got out. She dragged herself into her house, and once she got inside kicked off her shoes at the door and flung herself onto the couch. So there she laid for the remainder of the evening and half the next day. She shifted positions here and there but mostly she found herself staring blankly at the ceiling. The endless ticking of the clock on the wall dragged along with her thoughts (mainly ones consistent with jumping out the window) leaving her in a rather comatose state. That was until a rapping at the door caught her attention, even for a short second. Half dead on the inside, she turned her head to look at the door for a moment before getting to her feet. Luka looked out the peephole to find another crystal blue eye staring back at her.

"What do you want?" Luka asked ,her voice soft.

"I want to talk to you about last night," Said Gakupo.

"I have nothing to say," She said. "I made a complete fool of myself and you got hurt."

"You think I care about getting hurt? Last night was the best night of my life. Do you know how long I've wanted to take you out? And you gave me the time of day, even for a moment, and I couldn't be happier." He said, his voice soft and sincere as he rested his head against the cool material of the door.

Luka felt tears wailing up in her eyes all over again. "I'm so sorry Gakupo."

"For what? Luka, open the door." He said.

She slowly willed her hands to unlock her locks, and when she did the door opened and Gakupo grabbed her with large hands. He crushed her body against his as he just held her quietly, enjoying the connection of their bodies and their warmth for what seemed like eternity. He inhaled the sweet scent of her tussled pink locks and sighed contently. He truly was a loveable idiot.

"I'm sorry for everything," Luka whispered, her face buried into the crook of his neck.

"You're forgiven," Gakupo chuckled. "And now that we have all of _**this **_cleared up, how about I take you out later? You know… after you shower and stuff." He chirped teasingly. "I know of a place that has amazing tuna _**and**_ eggplants."

With a sigh and a roll of her eyes as she laced her arms around his waist, Luka smiled. "Alright."


End file.
